“Following graduation from public school, what do you think your son/daughter's living situation will be?” Ah, the H bomb question for parents like me.
“Can you talk to him/her about going to a day program?” I have seen day programs as part of survey work I’ve done for the New York state department that thinks about people like Alex. These programs seem like good places: movies, trips to amusement parks, excursions to the neighborhood stores where I already wonder how people will look at my son as he comes through the door. I would like Alex in such a program, except I do wonder if the money for them will dry up long before he hits 21.
“In which of the following areas does your child need help? Clothing care; sex education; household management; consumer skills; safety; appropriate behaviors; problem solving.” This is not the whole list. I look at Alex across the living room and realize that the list is not meant for him, and I wonder: If this list isn't meant for him, what is?
“Will your son/daughter be able to travel to and from school/a job alone?” Dunno, but I have started to hate taking the subway with Alex because a few years ago on a trip to Coney Island he started giggling and I got the feeling some really big teenagers across the aisle were laughing at him. I know that the people who write these questions have a lot of people to address in a few sentences and that they're trying to help, but please.
Other categories:
“Getting along with others.” Yes, wish I knew more about this one.
“Health/first aid.” When he cuts himself he runs to us and kisses the spot and says “I’m sorry” or “Awwww.” That second one is from an Elmo video he likes. Oliver Platt says the line. Jill and I love Oliver Platt. We saw him in Funny Bones before we had kids, and once we saw him in Shakespeare in the Park, one night when we could arrange the kind of babysitter who can stay with Alex.
“Other (Specify).” Wish I could.
“How do you spend your time as a family?” Coffee shops, I guess, until chicken fingers gave Alex the runs. Then we'd sneak Chips Ahoy in for him in his backpack. If we were responsible parents in a coffee shop we’d order him a hot dog and slice the fucker in a way no one else on earth would eat but Alex would. But instead we usually sneak the cookies. Plus we walk a lot. New York does have that, and I hope it lasts Alex his life.
“How would you like your school district staff to assist you in planning for your child's needs after graduation/school completion?” I'd like you to give him a home.
Posted by Jeff Stimpson
at 6:46 PM EDT
Updated: Monday, 14 May 2012 6:47 PM EDT
